My Name Is Not Emo

Every story has an ending and this is mine...

This would be my last post in this blog... Life's been pretty hectic and apparently commitments had grown so much that I have to focus my whole attention on it, thank you friends and readers for the support last 2 months, this is a short blog but it's been fun. Mr Zhong, I'll become a reader now instead of your co-blogger!

I received 2 particular emails which I would like to share here, it's meaningful and hopefully it will get the meaning through....

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(1) Little Lion

One day, the young lion asked his mom: "Mom, where is the happiness?"
Mom replied: "It's on your tail."
So the young lion keeps on chasing after his tail. But after a whole day of trying, he failed to get the happiness that was on his tail.
Then he told his mom about this, his mom smiled and said: "Son, you don't really need to chase after your happiness, as long as you keep going and moving forward, your happiness will always be with you."

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(2) A Simple Story of True Love and True Care


I was born in a secluded village on a mountain.

Day by day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky.

I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father had discovered about the stolen money right away.

He made me and my younger brother kneel against the wall as he held a bamboo stick in his hand. "Who stole the money?" he asked. I was stunned, too afraid to talk.

Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!"

He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said,
" Dad, I was the one who did it!"

The long stick smacked my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath. After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother,

"You have learned to steal from your own house now. What other embarrassing things will you be possibly doing in the future? You should be beaten to death, you shameless thief!"

That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His body was full of wounds from the beating but he never shed a single tear. In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said,

" Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened."

I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did.

Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday. I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me.

That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old.



When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province. That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet.

I could hear him ask my mother, "Both of our children, they have good results? Very good results?" Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?"

At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said,"Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books."

Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his face. "Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your study!"

And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money. I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother's swollen face, and told him,

"A boy has to continue his study; If not, he will not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing."

I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university. Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans.

He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you."

I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice.

That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old.



With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site,finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university.


One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me,"There's a villager waiting for you outside!" Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand. I asked him,

"Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?"

He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think ifthey would know that I am your brother? Won't they laugh at you?" I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother's body. And told him with a lump in my throat,

" I don't care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is!"

From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one." I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried.

That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old.




I noticed that the broken window was repaired the first time I brought my boyfriend home.

The house was scrubbed cleaned. After my boyfriend left, I danced like a little girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you didn't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!" But she told me with a smile,

"It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He hurt his hand while he was replacing the window."

I went into my brother's bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart. I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandage on it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him. "No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when at the construction site, stones keep falling on my feet . Even that could not stop me from working." In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turnedmy back on him and tears rolled down my face.

That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.



After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said, once they left the village,they wouldn't know what to do..

My brother agreed with them. He said, "Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here."

My husband became the director of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a repairman instead for a start.

One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled,

"Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won't do something dangerous like that. Now look at you, You are suffering a serious injury. Why didn't you just listen to us?"

With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision, "Think of brother-in-law. He just became the director, and I being uneducated, and would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?" My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education only because of me!" "Why do you talk about the past?" he said and then he held my hand.

That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old.




My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one person you respect and love the most?"

Without even taking a time to think, he answered," My sister."

He continued by telling a story I could not even remember.

"When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village. Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and will always be good to her."

Applause filled up the room.

All guests turned their attention to me. I found it hard to speak, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother," And in this happy occasion,in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again.


*Love and care for the one you love every single days of your life.* You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.

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Tadaaa, end of story...

A note to all friends out there,
You can't decide the length of life, but you can control how you want to live it.
You can't control the weather, but you can control your mood.
You can't change your look, but you can smile.
You can't control others, but you can control yourself.
You can't foresee tomorrow, but you can utilize today wisely.
You can't win everything, but you can try your very best to achieve that.

Somehow i find this thing being repeated so many times but till now i can never get it right...
I tried my very best but in the end it did not bear fruit, I shall walk and stand strong. Given the chance, indeed I would like to reverse time and start anew, but alas god is not so forgiving..., and yes, I will and still miss you...

If one day i were to stumbled upon a genie and given 2 wishes, my 1st wish would be eternal happiness for you and my second wish is that you will never discover who was the one behind the curtain blessing your happiness...

Before i start on this post, allow me to give a short excerpt on this badge...
"The shield, it will be observed, carries the letters V.I. in dark blue on a light blue ground, thus displaying the school colours. The star and crescent and the head of a Seladang will be recognised as symbolic of the State and its people. The key is the Key of Knowledge and the goals, wide and narrow, are the Goals to be won, not only on the football and hockey field, but in the world after school days are over."

Isn't it such a beauty?

Victoria Institution is a premier secondary scholl for boys (and girls for Form 6) and one of the oldest school in Kuala Lumpur. The school is widely known as V.I. and a student of Victoria Institutions bears the name VICTORIAN.

The school was founded by Sultan Abdul Samad, William Hood Treacher, Loke Yew, Thamboosamy Pillai and Yap Kwan Seng on Aug 14, 1893 and over the years it has produced distinctive individuals which made our counrty proud, or prouder. Among the luminaries are the likes of T.Ananda Krishnan, Tan Sri Francis Yeoh, Datuk Misbuk Sidek, Foo Kok Keong and even Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah of Brunei.

The list goes on, for a detailed version of the notable alumnis, please click here


Of course if i were to post the "consise" version of this school's history, it might take a few pages for this blog to load, so i'm going to the even "simpler" version...

This school had moved through the time line and created such impact that:

(1) It was enlisted and subsequently named "smart school" and "cluster school" by the Ministry of Education.

(2) Now it's even a tourist attraction of Kuala Lumpur with its new "heritage" status.

(3) Some good folk in POS Malaysia (ex-victorian?) decided that the school needed their own stamp when delivering letters and thus... TADAAAA...




I LOVE POS MALAYSIA!!


Well for starters, we could definitely publicize it that way....

Anyway, if there are anyone who would like to provide any form of constructive feedback / comment, nope, the comments are disabled...

This post is just to notify any Victorians out there, yes, we have our own stamp already, GO BUY IT!!!



and the last but not least...
(4) We have our own shopping mall too.... we build it on a historical plot of land.....

Stole the font getting smaller idea from PY

Life's unpredictable, much to say but not enough time to type it all out, will be on hiatus

Something nice to share with everyone....

This post carries a few meaning but never mind on that, it is encrypted for certain reasons...

Ever wonder why all the basic elementary courses are named 101?

It is the start and it is the end as well, it prepares one for whatever ahead and it spells an end for the past, to move forward and learn/experience something new.

Comments are disabled (even though no one ever commented on this blog...)

Again, a story I would like to share to everyone. You might have read this somewhere but PLEASE, read this story until the end, it is such and eye / mind opener. This story is for all the single, married, divorced, widowed individuals who take life for granted...

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Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us.


Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.


I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Let’s go fetch mother."


Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.


Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."


Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."


Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter,whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.


Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."


There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.


Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In her iew, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.


As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in
our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.



One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him:
"What did I do wrong?"


Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn’t possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.


During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife.


To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"


He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.


The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes...


I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.


We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.


I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was then at a low point in my life.


Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.


Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.


I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy.
What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?


Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house.


Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."


I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?


Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside.


As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarrelled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother..


Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.


I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all. Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues as we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.


One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me.


I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death.


I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me:

Following mother's death so did our love for each other.



He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.


One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.


As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."


He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever.....


We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him.


I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him... From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet.


This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us?


Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him. Almost every day, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.


He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, it’s like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment.


He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind:

In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?


He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.

I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his...


I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long.


I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."


I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:

"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....


Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."

From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.


Hubby has also written a letter for me:


"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "


Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile.

Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...

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Seriously i was brought down to tears as i read this, yes, emo man reading emo story....

Cruel misunderstandings one after another had disrupted so many things in life. Destiny's secret is usually revealed with a hefty price tag and when it happens, everything will become too late....

This might and might not be a true story but the learning point is :

DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!

If you were to keep your mind occupied with thoughts of
"Why did you did that last time?"
"I'm afraid history might repeats itself and you did the same thing..."
"I'm scared you will be the same again"
"I don't want it to be like last time..."
"I don't think we can solved what happened last time..."
etc.

The grudge will never goes off and what you're doing is simply digging a deeper hole and hid yourself in it. Why not face it and ask your heart? Do what you really intend to... Who do you really wish to be with when all else fails? and who was there for you when it happens?

I am totally speechless when I read this story the first time... as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger. Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in the story, as well as patience.

Hopefully the paradigm shift of thoughts happens to all of you out there and not only to me...

You're not lost..... you just need directions

I received this through mail...

One day a traveler in a remote country town, convinced that he was on the wrong road, came to a halt in a village. Calling one of the villagers to the car window, he said

"Friend, I need help. I'm lost"

The villager looked at him for a moment.... "Do you know where you are?" he asked.

"Yes," said the traveler. "I saw the name of the town as I entered."

The man nodded his head, "Do you know where you want to be?"

"Yes," the traveler replied.

"You're not lost," he said, "you just need directions."


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Many of us are in the same position as the traveler. We know where we are - sometimes disappointed, dissatisfied, and experiencing little peace of mind. And we know where we want to be - at peace, fulfilled and living life abundantly. Like the traveler, we are not lost - we just need directions.

It doesn't take much to find the high road to success, but to reach it you need an agenda for the present. We all need directions for today. We need a purpose...

Lately I'd been thinking much on my own future. What dreams do I have and am I really walking towards it? Somehow my memories seems to fallback to those days in primary school when the homeroom teacher asked us what we want to be?

I still remembered the popular choices were Doctors, Engineers, Businessman and even Teachers!! I vaguely remembered for the 6 years I'd put in "Doctor" as my future job. But I'd grown to be realistic when I'm in Form Six. Science is something I like but not something I want to be... End up, my current ambition? Whatever will do as long as I'll be rich in the end. But with the pace I'm running at I will never get anywhere. I need directions desperately.

Before that, some random ranting....
My new Big Boss came in last week and we are all pushed towards our extreme limit (meetings starts at 7 and 6, that's 7.00 A.M and 6.00 P.M) so our new working time is "officially" 7 to 7. He set the bars really high for us and he showed us clearly the directions on the first day itself. No doubt he is a leader... But he's taking things too extreme I would say. Having a vision and fulfilling a 2 years vision in 1 week is too damn extreme...

SO back to the directions, yes now I have my directions, albeit still a little blurry but the fog is lifting up. I'm walking towards my goal at the expense of my health, life and also youth? I just noticed how my life had became of lately. My daily routine :

1. reached workplace at 6.45am
2. meetings at 7.00am / study the market till 8.45am
3. work till 12.20pm
4. lunch till 1.00pm
5. work till 5.45pm
6. meeting starts / if none, go home
7. study since i failed my fucking exam
8. sleep at 1.00am
9. repeats 1 again

I wonder how many years can i go on like this... my new boss is even proposing something more extreme...

1. reached workplace at 6.45am
2. meetings at 7.00am / study the market till 8.45am
3. work till 12.20pm
4. lunch till 1.00pm
5. work till 5.45pm
6. meeting starts / if none, go home
7. meet clients for dinner / socializing till like 10.00pm?
8. study since i failed my fucking exam
9. sleep at 2.30am?
10. repeats 1 again

hopefully i'll pass it this sitting, i could really get some good rest... I need it desperately...

Come, count how old you are....

Much had been said / read / told lately in the papers and in the net, a recap of some news which i found interesting...

(1)
Mara Vying to buy space suit for RM 185,000.00

A quote from what Entrepreneur and Co-operative Development Minister Datuk Noh Omar said

“The suit is special. It could only be worn once, after which it would be disposed off, then there will be nothing to remind us of his historic feat,” said Noh.

Errm, as far as i know, a space tourist ain't much of a historical feat, and using our hard earned money to get into space and came back after doing some "experiments" is not some national hero act. Hell, the experiments results were even destroyed in the re-entry...

(2) Financial Crisis and Bailout

Much hype has been put on the RM60Bio stimulus package but strangely the mainstream media never did put much attention on how the government is sourcing the money and the actual effect which it will cause to the economy (as in the effect the deficit will cause on the economy). True enough that our country was not downgraded by the ratings agencies but that is for how long?

RM60Bio is not a small amount and neither too big too. Are we going to issue more government bonds to fund the spending? And when the bond matures, ahh, yes, we could print money to repay the investors of bonds. The issue concern here is the implementation of the whole package. Who will ensure that the fund will be distributed equally / correctly? The fund management lies in the jurisdiction of which party? The last quarter GDP growth was registered at at mere 0.1 percent but traders are already pushing that figure to some negative 2.0-2.5 percent in the next quarter. General market response was that ringgit will continue it northward movement to its year low of 3.7300. How much can the stimulus package help in creating a better market sentiment? I have no idea how it helps others, but definitely it did nothing to my part...

(3) Teaching of Science and Maths in English

As i was browsing our former PM's latest blog entry, his writings on this matter finally do some justice to our country. The man that proposed to implement BM into our education system is now lamenting on the decision itself. Definitely a must read...


An excerpt :

12. Ilmu sains dan matematik bukan ilmu yang statik. Ilmu-ilmu ini berkembang sepanjang masa. Tiap hari ada hasil kaji selidik, penerokaan, ciptaan dan perluasan yang diperkenal melalui ratusan kertas-kertas yang ditulis.

13. Hampir semua ditulis dalam bahasa Inggeris. Untuk menterjemah tulisan ini kita perlu orang yang fasih dalam bahasa Melayu dan bahasa Inggeris dan faham ilmu yang hendak diterjemah.

14. Kita ada beberapa kerat sahaja orang yang berkebolehan seperti ini. Itupun dalam dua tiga bidang sahaja. Orang yang layak seperti ini tidak berminat menjadi penterjemah seumur hidup. Apabila sains dan matematik diajar dalam bahasa Melayu, orang seperti ini tidak akan ada lagi. Bagaimanakah kita hendak ikuti perkembangan ilmu sains?

Previously Mr Zhong did some detail elaboration on this issue, Read it HERE

Too freaking tired, will continue in part 2

As I was crossing some super busy road today, I saw something which I never thought of....

Anyone ever noticed how some people will use their hand to cover their nostrils when a truck / lorry / bus passes by? To reduce the inhale of smoke eh?

I mean, what's the point? By covering with your hands does it reduce the smoke in any way? Isn't it better if they were to hold their breath? Seriously I don't see the justification here... Why cover up when the truth is you yourself know that it makes no difference?

Don't you think it's troublesome to hold your hands and cover your nose? You might even obstruct your view when crossing the road....

Do you think the air will be cleaner that way? Or do you want to appear that you're a class above the others? That you shall breath in better air that way?

Or was it because you want to cover it because someone influenced you? Some passerby do it and asked you to follow suit because it's cool?

For me I admitted the air is not that good and I breath in bravely, I know it'll hurt my lungs in the long term, but I feel that I did the right thing, at least I faced it bravely.... I choose not to run away from the evil smoke....

Worse is in the end, my life will be shorter by 100 days? At least I won't regret it...





some random chat......

®àñâRçHî§T© says:
i know this is very kolot but every 1 min you're angry or sad..
you lose 60 secs away..

.:: wkong ::. says:
then i think i shld be dead already
=(

One year ago, i was still studying in Uni wondering where I'm headed for my future... All of us are pretty unsure of where we should head and which path should we trod, yet we boldly took our path (or at least God chooses it i think)... 1 year is not too short and yet long enough for us to start forgetting what we held to the utmost importance in our heart...

(1) 猪朋狗友

"猪朋狗友" (Pig and Dog Friends) i think i'm fortunate enough to be blessed with some. One year ago, i admitted that i did left them at the road side (or was i dumped at the road side?). I dedicated my life to something which i valued the most and i never regretted it till today. And today i'm really fortunate that they are still beside me, thanks!



Paiseh, couldn't find any "Happy Family" Pics, this is the best i could find...
I know sometimes we do have "bite marks" with each other but that's the best part of life isn't it, at least we have something that we could reminiscent of...

For instance how we use to skip classes, "kap lui", our "blow water" session at mamak etc, or even the timeS we raped socialize with beloved Ang. It sure bring back lotsa fond memories

(2) I'd met some new friends....
For the past 3 years in my uni life, i'd met some friends which i'd grown really close with, thanks for leaving such nice footprints in my heart =)



(3) I got my own car!!
Previously back in school days, all of us (almost all) have to rely on HK to drive us/drop us/pick us up at LRT station or some bus stop. He's the only one who drive a car back in school days, now we can proudly return HK's favour! (or maybe only one can't....)

(4) 3 years effort for one piece of paper...
I was studying in USM for 3 whole freaking years and i'd finally graduated! Yes, i'd learnt to live by my own and life has never been better after my graduation day. The best part of it is when i went for my job interview, instead of asking for my degree transcript, the interviewer asked "can i have your SPM examination result?" They did not even requested my STPM results..... Gosh

(5) Fell in love
I'd fell in love with the girl of my life. She's everything i need and complements well to my weaknesses. Words couldn't possible how much i love her but i'd found a song which matches closes to it... From 童话 (Tong Hua) by Guang Liang

也许你不会懂 (Perhaps you never knew)
从你说爱我以后 (From the moments you said you love me)
我的天空星星都亮了 (All the stars in my sky have brightened up)

(6) I broke my heart
I'd lost her... It's painful.

(7)I think I saved a little Rhino
or maybe a I'd fed a few extra leaves, instead of donating to help some poverty stricken kid, i'd donated to save a rhino...
The amount is very minimal but i sincerely hope it did something good towards the preservation of rhinos in the long run. Hopefully my kids in the future could still have a chance to view one...


(8) My eyes are brighter
I never knew that the mainstream media managed to hide so many news from us, how the heck did they do it? I am so darn happy that i'd registered to vote for the last election!!! For everyone out there, try to take the blindfold down, peek into the real world, and see how badly informed you are... For starters, try googling these words :
Valuecap Sdn Bhd
Teresa Kok
or better go read Malaysiakini

It's not free but if you're a cheapskate like me, go click the BM/Chinese version, it's free. I'm buying a subscription soon....


(9) I saw a whole cycle of life
I saw a relative of mine past away and at the same time my older cousin had a new member in his family. I myself had a few near death experience while driving and I'd learned the "fragility" of life. One moment you're still here, the next moment I might be floating in mid air wondering what happened.... Treasure the "now" moment. Be blessed by the fact that you're so much better than someone out there...

(10) I'm older....
8th March 2009 and i'm 24 years old, Happy Birthday to myself.

This is the 1st time i sing myself a birthday song and blew my own lighted up candle...

This is the 1st time me and my friends had a really impromptu trip and managed to cash out from the Genting... (thanks for the great experience guys!)

This is the 1st time i feel so lost in my life and so tired...

Anyway, Happy Birthday to myself...

3Blups was walking the other day at Jalan Tun Perak outside Menara Maybank.... and his heart got knockdown by a car... it's shattered into million of pieces

How to be EMO in these few simple steps :
(1) Right Click the piano above
(2) Press Play
(3) Type the following keys...

LONOL LONOL LONO OOMML
LONOL LQPPO LONOM MMOTS
PPRRQQ QQNPOONO ONOR LSRQP
PPRRQQ QQVUTUV VPOT TTSSS
LSRQQRQ QRQ RQPO
OQST TTSPPRQ OQST
TTSPPRQRQPO PQMMOONO


WELCOME TO THE CLUB MATEY~

Not satisfied or want to redeem a ticket out from the club?

Try this :

QQQQPONPPPO  LQPOOOLQPOOP
QQQQPONPPPO  LQPOOOLQPOOPPQR
RRRRQPOOOPP  LSSSRQPPPQQ
MRQRQPOONOL  QRQRQPOPS
LQRSRQSLQRSRQS  LQRSRQOPPPQO
SSOONOOSSOONOO  RRQQPPORRQQPPO
LQRSRQSLQRSRQS  LQRSRQOPPPQO
SSOONOOSSOONOO  RRQQPPOORQPOMOO


Grats, you just won yourself life time membership in "EMO CLUB"

Last way out:

OPQQQRQPPOPPSP  ONOOOQQOOMNNQN
MLMMMRRQSO  MLMMMRROOMP
OOPQQQRQPPOPPSP  ONOOOQQOOMNNQN
MLMMRRQSO  MLMMMRROOONO




P.S. Thanks Mr Zhong for the Emoiano =)

That’s life, or some said, love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to forget that true love lies in between the peace and dullness.

Adapted from another site....

My husband is a scientist by profession. I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when i lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years in the courtship and now, two years into marriage, I have to admit, I am getting tired of it. The reasons for loving him has now transformed into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and is extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationships and feelings. I yearn for romantic moments, like a little boy yearning for candy.

My husband, is a stark contrast to me. His lack of sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I want a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked.

“I am tired, there aren’t reasons for everything in the world” I answered.

He kept silent for a long time, seeming to be in deep thoughts with a cigarette lighted the entire night. My feelings of disappointment is getting intense, a man who can’t even express his detainment, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked, “What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess I have started losing faith in him. I looked deep into his eyes and I slowly answered : “Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind.

Let’s say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we are both sure that picking the flower will cause death, will you still do it for me?”

He said, “I will give you your answer tomorrow….”; My heart just sank after hearing his reply.

The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his
scratchy writing, underneath a glass of warm milk.

It goes…

“Dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to
further explain the reasons.”

This first line has already broken my heart. I continued reading.

“You can only type with the computer and yet you always mess up the programs in the
PC and cry in front of screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling yet you always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to lead you around.

You always have cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramp at your tummy.

You like to stay indoor, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism.
I have to save my mouth to tells you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer for long hours, and that’s no good for your eyes.
I have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your
nails, and help to remove those annoying white hair.

I will hold your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… tell you the colour of flowers, which is just like the glow on your young face…

Thus, my dear, before I am sure there is someone who loves you more than I
do… I would not pick the flower, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his hand writing while I resumed my reading…

“And now, dear… you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied
with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing
there,with your favorite bread and fresh milk…”

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand held tight on the milk and bread…. Oh I am sure no one ever loved me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, or some said, love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to forget that true love lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows in any form, even a very little and corny form, it has never been a model, it could be the most incurious form.. . flowers, romantic moments is only the buckish formed on the surface of the relationship.

Are you happy today?




Sometimes we enjoy life so much that we really forgot about things that matters to us most... So are you really happy today?

When you love someone, let them know... You never know what will happen the next minute.... Learn to build a life together.. Learn to love each other. For who they are.. Not what they are...

From Email...


One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office...



Apparently, they are there to file a divorce. Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....

This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage nothing ever seems to go right.They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....

Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 yrs of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn't understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..

While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband....

"I really love u, but I really cant carry on anymore, I'm sorry. I really do not want to be with you anymore. I do not want to lie to you as my feelings to you is no longer there... I know you tried really hard to sustain this relationship but it's my decision.... "

"Its okay, I understand... " said the husband. Looking at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them, wife thought, why not, since they are still gonna be friends....

At the dining table, there was a silence of awkwardness.

The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady...."Take this, its your favorite...."

Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe there's still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer...

"This is always the problem, you always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, don't you know that I hate drumsticks? Do you know in fact i love chicken wings the most?"


Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favorite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drumsticks even though all he wants is the best for her...

That night, both of them couldn't sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn... After hours, the old man couldn't take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he can't carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "I love you".... He had so many words and stories to share with her...

He wanted to tell her how they will bring up their grand children, how they will live to see their grand children schooling and even wedding....

He wanted to tell her how they use to sing songs to each other whenever they are in need of each other courage and support...

He wanted to tell her how she always smile at his jokes and how the smile of hers make him even happier...

Most of all, he wanted to tell her that how deep and how much he could love her....

He picks up the phone, starting dialing her number.... ringing never stops... he never stop dialing....

He had so many things to share and to live with her despite their old age and yet those words never reached her......

On the other side, she was sad, she couldn't understand how come after all these years, he still doesn't understand her at all, she loves him a lot, but she just cant take it anymore....

Phone' s ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that its him... "Whats the point of talking now that its over... I have ask for it and now I wanna keep it this way, if not I will lose face... Since it's my decision, let me be the one that will regret over it... "

She thought... Still ringing... She have decided to pull out the cord... And switches her mobile phone to silent mode... Little did she remember, he have heart problems...

The next day, she received news that he had passed away... She rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone... He had a heart attack when he was still trying to get through her phone line....

As sad as she could be... She will have to clear his belongings... When she was looking through the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, with the beneficiary being her... And together in those file, there was this note...

"To my dearest wife, by the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer around, I bought this policy for you, though the amount is only RM500k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that I have made when we got married, I might not be around anymore, I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you, just like the way I will if I could have live longer. I want you to know I will always be around, by your side... I love you my dear"

Tears flowed like river......


"When you love someone, let them know... You never know what will happen the next minute.... Learn to build a life together.. Learn to love each other. For who they are.. Not what they are..."

Life is interesting at times, and i kinda like my job. I love the adrenaline rushing through my veins every time i'm transacting large deals. One single wrong move or wrong timing will result in either huge loss or accidental huge profits. It's really exhaustive, mentally and physically but i love the rush of excitement and heart pumping action of my job

Personal stuffs aside, today i'm gonna open up a topic.................. Zzzzzzzzzz

生活有時陰差陽錯，你錯過了一時，就似乎錯過了一生。 有個男孩，在學校的新生聯歡會上認識了一個女孩。女孩笑容入春花，聰明活潑，男孩對她幾乎是一見鍾情，卻沒有表露。因為男孩剛經過高中階段循規蹈矩式教育，對男女感情小心翼翼得令人難以置信，他想：「再等等吧，等一切成熟些，再向她說。」 一年多後的一個夜晚，男孩終於鼓足勇氣約女孩出來，向她表達了心中的愛意。沒想到，平時口齒伶俐的女孩結.結巴巴地說：「我......我想我不能接受......你的好意，一個星期之前......我已經......接受了另一個......男孩......我真得......不知道你......會喜歡我......」女孩說完就跑掉了，沒有讓男孩看到她濕潤的眼睛。 後來，有人看到男孩同學校的校花經常出雙入對，大家都以為他看中了校花的美貌，誰也沒有注意，校花有著和女孩一樣的春花般的笑容，非常相似，所以誰都沒有發現男孩的苦心。但是沒多久，男孩與校花的愛情就以分手告吹。 大學生活很快就結束了。畢業後，女孩披上了嫁衣成了別人的新娘，而男孩再沒有戀愛過。因為他清楚，只有這個女孩才是他今生唯一的至愛。 男孩從朋友那裡輾轉打聽到女孩的生日和地址，每到女孩生日時，他就會叫人送去九朵鬱金香，但他卻不知道女孩最喜歡什麼花，他自己最喜歡鬱金香。男孩知道女孩已為人婦，所以他從來不在卡片裡留下姓名和聯絡好號碼，他不想因為自己的感情而影響女孩的生活。 幾年時間轉眼就過去了，男孩依然是形單影隻，依然記得每年都送花給女孩。就在女孩生日的前兩天，男孩參加了一個同學聚會，他聽說女孩在這幾年裡經歷了兩次離婚，如今也是獨身，心裡又是心疼又是高興。他為女孩遭遇了感情的不幸而心疼，又為自己再次有了機會而高興...... 終於等到女孩的生日！男孩在卡片裡寫下幾個字：「你知道我在愛你嗎？！」男孩英俊的臉上灑滿了笑意與希望，逕直向街心走去...... 就在那時，一輛逆行的貨車撞倒了他...... 女孩在收到鬱金香的同時也收到了男孩的死訊。 女孩明白了一切，她把自己鎖在房間裡哭了整整一夜。疋回想起多年前的那個夜晚，男孩對她表白。她一直不知道，這近十年來，男孩是如此執著而痴心地愛著她！想到這裡，她就哭得更傷心，奔瀉的淚水將鬱金香浸染得無限淒美。女孩知道，她失去了今生難遇難求的至愛。 然而，長眠的男孩永遠也不知道，女孩最喜歡的，正是鬱金香啊......

I got this long time ago, it's from another site
http://ngszeli.net/ngszeli/love/miss/

I think everyone still remembers how Mr Z built his castle? His castle has 16 bedrooms and boast 21 bathrooms equipped with jacuzzi, and he's just a state councilor. God was watching all the time as he siphoned out money from god-knows-where. The palace was given much attention by the press and Mr Z defended it and even named it as a "public place" where orphans could go there and stay overnight. His "generosity" caught HIS attention and he decided to flick HIS hand a little but too hard it seems and he died overnight, from heart attack.....


Now we have another Mr KT who seems to be very very outspoken lately, asking an unfortunate victim to resign / quit / step down at every single opportunity. He too extended his "generosity" saying that "It is good that there is a trend in Malaysia now whereby embattled elected representatives readily resign from their posts" and commended on the victim's decision.... My my, HE is watching, in fact HE might be zooming in using a magnifying glass...

Maybe, just maybe, HE might just decided to squish him a little to give a little reminder that "HEY, i'm the one in charge here, talk less and i'll let you live longer..."

But then that just a probability, IF i were given one day to be in charge, i'll definitely.........


Sometimes God works his magic in ways we can never understand, HE has his plans on everyone and at times it may seem a little ridicule, but in the end, everything and everyone will walk the path that he and HIM carved out...

It's back!!! On 28 March 2009 millions of people around the globe will unite for one hour and switch off their lights to show that they care about our living planet.... This will be the first time Malaysia officially takes part in Earth Hour and our Prime Minister, Dato' Seri Abdullah bin Ahmad Badawi has indicated his support and endorsement of Malaysia’s participation. More info here...

An extract from The Star...

Outspoken Bukit Lanjan assemblyman Elizabeth Wong lodged a police report at the Damansara police station here Sunday night over nude pictures and videos of her that have been circulating via MMS.

and the best part of the story....

In Klang, Selangor opposition chief Datuk Seri Dr Mohd Khir Toyo said that Malaysians were not ready to accept leaders afflicted with scandals and given this, Wong should relinquish all her positions.

“This is a moral issue and Malaysians cannot accept leaders with moral issues, so she must vacate her state assembly seat.

“Let the people decide and if they still want her they can vote her in again or vote for someone else if they don’t want her to represent them anymore," said Dr Mohd Khir, who last week was detained and questioned by police for taking part in an illegal assembly.

He is FAST !! Can you be even more obvious in showing your true intentions? At least lar cover sikit, say some sympathizing words first mar before revealing your true intentions...

Instead of giving the adequate moral support, you have truly degraded the word "man". What happened to the the gentleman in you? If there's any.... Shouldn't you direct your finger at the person that leaked out the pictures? Whoever that person is, he/she's a total scum, using such lousy tactics in an "political assassination attempt"....

If you were comparing this to Chua Soi Lek, this is totally different, Chua Soi Lek is married but Elizabeth is not, it's a whole different story altogether, it's like comparing an apple with a durian. First it was the Teresa Kok incident and now this... For god sake, i never see such sore loser before, you lost your seat, just take it and admit the people is in favor of a new change in the administration. Instead you choose to create conflicts and issues which stirs the political harmony of the country, now who's patriotic eh?

To dear Elizabeth Wong, stay strong, you have my utmost respect for your courage in handling this matter!! Don't resign and fell into their trap!!


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To continue from last post...

I'll use my last breath saying i love you. I know dear you no longer have any feelings for me, but i still love you up till now and will continue in many days to come. Yes i am stubborn as a cow and dear you might say i'm just doing stupid things, but to me, the most stupid thing that i did was i did not love you deep enough...

Actually the above "love statement" was in fact an sms that i wrote on Valentines Day that never reached it's recipient or i think will never reach as a matter of fact, i sincerely no one will use it, it's for 1 person only and that's my dear ex ... sigh...

Come to think of it, love is strange in a way that i use to say it's a double sided blade, it can hurt and it can cut so deeply and at the same time, it gives you pleasure and a rush in adrenaline (no, i'm not a sadist). Don't you like the feeling that knowing that you have someone besides you? That person will stand beside you through all hardship and happiness? But at the same time don't you fear too that you might lose her/him in just an instant?

Today Mr Zhong told me something which struck my thought... In movies or novels, we often come across the phrase "to love someone is to ensure he/she obtain happiness no matter who he/she is with"..... think again, how true does he/she mean those words? Is it really from the bottom of the heart? Is it really how he/she felt? Will they swear wholeheartedly over the Holy Bible, Quran etc and say that's their true intention?

Human are possesive, and screw those that say they aren't, why bother getting married then? If human aren't possesive, where does jealousy comes from? Never mind on that, i think i'm getting further and further from my true intention of this post.

Well, this post is dedicated to someone which i love dearly.... Sigh... (again)

I still love you dearly, although i might say that "i wish you happiness in whatever and whoever you choose in the future" but the fact is I would rather be that person that shower you with love and happiness....

I don't mean what i say but there's nothing else i can say at this juncture. To recap from a conversation i had with a friend the other day, i'm like walking a road knowing ahead that there's a brick wall blocking my path. I will crash the wall painfully and yet stubbornly i continue walking....




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If i were given the choice of breathing and loving you, dear, i would spend my last breath saying i love you...

Happy Valentines Day to all loners and lovers out there, treasure your loved ones for you will never know when you will leave each other.....

I have one colleague back at my workplace, well, he joined my department at the same time as me, initially he was really friendly and all, constantly asking out all of us newbies for lunch... Now he doesn't anymore, from what i reckon, and also what WE think, he's a blardy hypocrite. He doesn't know we are newbies in the department too and thus are friendly towards us. Now he only stick to department heads and is constantly in sight with them.

In Cantonese we have a nickname for such person, they are called "Pigeon's eye". Ever notice how pigeons see the world? They will look up upon objects which are taller than them and twist their head in such a way resembling worship. When looking at an object much smaller than them... Wait, they will not notice anything smaller than them or at least at an equivalent size...

These people really deserved to be shot down, come on, do you guys have to be such hypocrites? When bosses are around, you act like you're working yourself to death and when they are not around, you start shouting and giving commands like you in charge of the room... Not to mention the breakfast/lunch/dinner which you bought exclusively for them? And did i mention how the way you smile/laugh resembles more like a wicked sinister, it's so bloody fake just like those ancient movies where the antagonist goes "HAR HAR HAR" when they were scheming some evil take-over-the-human-civilisation plans. Laughing 3 times of HAR HAR HAR is freaking fake, don't laugh if you can't....

Bless almighty GOD for human are blessed with the ability to analyze and to think, this particular guy make his move so obvious that people began to doubt his actions, from what i gather from those "after work yum cha session", he's digging a deeper grave, other colleagues began to dislike his falsehood and surprise surprise surprise, even my head of department began to doubt his actions, indeed you deserve your position as the head !!!

I shall (in Canto) put my eyes long long and see, i wonder how long can you survive, bloody hypocrite !!!