Again, a story I would like to share to everyone. You might have read this somewhere but PLEASE, read this story until the end, it is such and eye / mind opener. This story is for all the single, married, divorced, widowed individuals who take life for granted...
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Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us.
Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.
I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Let’s go fetch mother."
Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better."
Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter,whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure.
Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In her iew, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.
As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in
our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him:
"What did I do wrong?"
Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn’t possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house.
During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife.
To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?"
He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes...
I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.
I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was then at a low point in my life.
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?
At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.
I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy.
What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house.
Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."
I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside.
As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarrelled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother..
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in.
I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all. Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues as we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me.
I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death.
I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me. That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me:
Following mother's death so did our love for each other.
He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.
One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.
As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now."
He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever.....
We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him.
I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him... From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet.
This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us?
Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him. Almost every day, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.
He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, it’s like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment.
He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind:
In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.
I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his...
I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long.
I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."
I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....
Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."
From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile.
Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever...
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Seriously i was brought down to tears as i read this, yes, emo man reading emo story....
Cruel misunderstandings one after another had disrupted so many things in life. Destiny's secret is usually revealed with a hefty price tag and when it happens, everything will become too late....
This might and might not be a true story but the learning point is :
DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!
If you were to keep your mind occupied with thoughts of
"Why did you did that last time?"
"I'm afraid history might repeats itself and you did the same thing..."
"I'm scared you will be the same again"
"I don't want it to be like last time..."
"I don't think we can solved what happened last time..."
etc.
The grudge will never goes off and what you're doing is simply digging a deeper hole and hid yourself in it. Why not face it and ask your heart? Do what you really intend to... Who do you really wish to be with when all else fails? and who was there for you when it happens?
I am totally speechless when I read this story the first time... as I read through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed the devastating power of grudges and anger. Simple humility and communication would have resolved most of the problems in the story, as well as patience.
Hopefully the paradigm shift of thoughts happens to all of you out there and not only to me...
Sometimes this kind of email might actually change your day...
Forwarded email, click on the pics to enlarge it
and finally something which reflects my current life in office...
Click me
Don't worry, it's virus free, trojan free, malware free
You're not lost..... you just need directions
I received this through mail...
One day a traveler in a remote country town, convinced that he was on the wrong road, came to a halt in a village. Calling one of the villagers to the car window, he said
"Friend, I need help. I'm lost"
The villager looked at him for a moment.... "Do you know where you are?" he asked.
"Yes," said the traveler. "I saw the name of the town as I entered."
The man nodded his head, "Do you know where you want to be?"
"Yes," the traveler replied.
"You're not lost," he said, "you just need directions."
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Many of us are in the same position as the traveler. We know where we are - sometimes disappointed, dissatisfied, and experiencing little peace of mind. And we know where we want to be - at peace, fulfilled and living life abundantly. Like the traveler, we are not lost - we just need directions.
It doesn't take much to find the high road to success, but to reach it you need an agenda for the present. We all need directions for today. We need a purpose...
Lately I'd been thinking much on my own future. What dreams do I have and am I really walking towards it? Somehow my memories seems to fallback to those days in primary school when the homeroom teacher asked us what we want to be?
I still remembered the popular choices were Doctors, Engineers, Businessman and even Teachers!! I vaguely remembered for the 6 years I'd put in "Doctor" as my future job. But I'd grown to be realistic when I'm in Form Six. Science is something I like but not something I want to be... End up, my current ambition? Whatever will do as long as I'll be rich in the end. But with the pace I'm running at I will never get anywhere. I need directions desperately.
Before that, some random ranting....
My new Big Boss came in last week and we are all pushed towards our extreme limit (meetings starts at 7 and 6, that's 7.00 A.M and 6.00 P.M) so our new working time is "officially" 7 to 7. He set the bars really high for us and he showed us clearly the directions on the first day itself. No doubt he is a leader... But he's taking things too extreme I would say. Having a vision and fulfilling a 2 years vision in 1 week is too damn extreme...
SO back to the directions, yes now I have my directions, albeit still a little blurry but the fog is lifting up. I'm walking towards my goal at the expense of my health, life and also youth? I just noticed how my life had became of lately. My daily routine :
1. reached workplace at 6.45am
2. meetings at 7.00am / study the market till 8.45am
3. work till 12.20pm
4. lunch till 1.00pm
5. work till 5.45pm
6. meeting starts / if none, go home
7. study since i failed my fucking exam
8. sleep at 1.00am
9. repeats 1 again
I wonder how many years can i go on like this... my new boss is even proposing something more extreme...
1. reached workplace at 6.45am
2. meetings at 7.00am / study the market till 8.45am
3. work till 12.20pm
4. lunch till 1.00pm
5. work till 5.45pm
6. meeting starts / if none, go home
7. meet clients for dinner / socializing till like 10.00pm?
8. study since i failed my fucking exam
9. sleep at 2.30am?
10. repeats 1 again
hopefully i'll pass it this sitting, i could really get some good rest... I need it desperately...
Come, count how old you are....
I am a person who 'okay' with a consistent devil than an inconsistent angel. I can
always be putting myself on guard against devils but i cant be doing that all
the time against angels.
Yesterday, i went to one of the cyber cafe in KL with my cousin to play some online game to relax my brain a bit after long hours of classes. I was happened to put my name as 'Nurul Izzah' as my nickname because i personally thinks that she is hawwt. (For those who dont know who Nurul Izzah is, she is a MP and also the daughter of Dato Seri Anwar Ibrahim). During halfway playing, as usual, arguments started to heat up and players started to calling each other names and stuff like that. And guess what? Since Nurul Izzah is a malay name, and all these assholes cant even tell that it is just a nickname (Cuz they got no idea who Nurul Izzah is) and thought thats my name and started with all the racist nonsense remarks nonstop. Really wtf huh?
Okay, what i am going to write today is not just about my experience in cyber cafe yesterday. Its a widespread plague that i am going to discuss here, ie Racism.
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I really beh tahan (cannot stand) with all these ppl, what were they thinking when they making all those racist remarks? The more they making those remarks, the more i despise them, but does it matter to them? Nope. This is what i cannot tolerate, hypocrites.
It is a very typical situation where the younger generation of non-bumis, especially the chinese will keep complaining about how unfair the country treats them, how they were discriminated, how they were marginalised, how NEP gives the bumis huge advantage in every aspects of life...yada yada (the list goes on). But trust me, if you can simply pick one of those ah beng out in the cyber cafe and interview them what them about NEP, chances are, they will like having the biggest shock in their life, speechless. Thats because they dont even know whats NEP, they only complain complain non-stop not because they know NEP works, but they were being told that is it unfair, full stop.
Whenever a MP made a racist remark, everyone would be jumping up and down calling him to apologize and stripped off their MP status. Yes, thats what everyone would do, to criticize others ppl wrong doings without thinking if they are doing the same thing, being racist. I know the fact that its true that just because most ppl are doing the same thing doesnt mean MP was right in making racist remarks. Two wrongs does not make one right. I totally agree with that. Dont come and tell me that we are picking on them because they are MPs, thats why they need to show good examples to the ppl. Thats kind of ridiculous, isnt it?
My next question is, what is racist? So far i dont think theres a definite definition for that though, simply because the meaning of racist is so damn wide. Everyone is racist, trust me, it is just depends to what extent the level of racism is. I guess thats a human nature, that exists even in animal kingdom. All species do prefer they own kind on priority before the others, isnt it? i might be wrong though, if theres a species that dont prefer their own kind, please do let me know. Anyway, at least thats my stand i am taking here, that everyone is racist just with the differences in the level of racism. Dont believe me?
For example: ( A very hypothetical example, nothing malicious intended )
-> You were walking down a road near a park, where you suddenly heard someone screaming for help. You rushed towards the scene and you saw a lady was injured lying down unconscious on the floor and 2 men ( a white and a black ) were fighting against each other and theres a handbag on the floor. Which man is the culprit that first comes to your mind? Answers maybe varied from different ppl. Nice example huh?
Anyway, the level of racism in me is just mild, really mediocre, near negligible. = ) Thats a good thing isnt it? Well, i do make and take racist jokes and calling some of my friend names based on their skin colour and stuff. Thats for fun, nothing malicious. Same goes to malay who called chinese dudes as apeks, or indians as kelings..and vice versa. For those who are reading this shet right now, ask yourself now if you ever did that before huh? XD
However, when talks about political world, its even worse. After the so-called political tsunami on March 2008, theres been a big hu-ha going on saying that the ppl are tired of racial-based political parties (UMNO, MCA, MIC..etc -political parties) and start rejecting it. Neh~
I honestly think thats not true, ppl are rejecting the gomen of the day its because the way they run the gomen, the widespread corruptions, the going-backwards-economy...etc. If theres anyone rejecting it because it is race-based, it would not be the sole reason for it. I got no doubts that the gomen of the day are pretty racist in nature, some of them like to make racist remarks, for political gains, to garner supports from their own races. But some claimed that those race-based political parties are losing its relevancy fast in this 'new society', thats why people rejecting it and vote for non-racial parties, where the society care less about skin colour. This was supported by the fact that Barrack Obama elected as the first African-American US president (a better way to call a black person anyway).
I personally think it is still relevant, and it will remain relevant for a long time in Malaysia. Dont misquote me, I am all-out against racism but i am telling this is based on my own observation. Readers may have their own opinion about this whole racism issue. If theres anyone who wants to do away with all these racial nonsense, count me in and put me in the frontline. A world without racism, how ideal is that huh.
I do, at times, felt that, PR (Opposition alliances) are hyprocrites as well. They dont practice what they preached. They claimed that they are doing away with the racial issues.>_>
Proof? i can easily give a few good examples for that.
1. When Perak state were captured by PR, there has been a fiasco about the composition of races in the exco board. COME DA FCUK ON DUDES, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? DOES IT MATTER? seriously, i wouldnt mind if all are represented by malays, or indians or without any chinese in the board as long as i am not deprived of anything and everything runs smoothly.
2. When the assembly men sworn in, theres another fiasco when a few dudes refused to wear songkok during the ceremony in the palace. Seriously, you dont lose ur race identity in wearing the head gear just for the ceremony. Its like saying once you eat nasi lemak and you lose your chinese identity. Ridiculous right?
So far, it seems like i have been keep bashing on the opposition parties huh? Sorry though, i am not a fan of either BN or PR. If i were to choose, of course i will choose the lesser evil between both. I do think PEE-AR deserves a chance to prove itself but if they cant shake things up til then, i will spoil my votes to show my dissatisfaction in the upcoming next general elections.
I am a person who 'respect' a consistent devil than an inconsistent angel. I can always be putting myself on guard against devils but i cant be doing that all the time against angels.
One might ask, whats my hunch about this whole racism issue? Well, in order to eradicate this whole racism issue, i guess a radical reform needs to be done especially towards the education system or we will never see the so-called 'Malaysia For Malaysians' country, at least not in another 50 years to come. Just my hunch anyway, and i am not someone who is significant enough to be taken notice of. Lets just take a step at the time and lets hope for a better tomorrow!
Ahh, another lengthy post of mine, i hope you readers would give some constructive reply to my post though. = )
OooOoOo ya! BTW, My-Name-Is-Not-Emo reached 1000 hits milestone!!! wohoooo~ CHEERS guys! TQ to all the readers for da support!
Okay, its 3.05am, time for me to get some rest. Til me meet again~ Gnight
=Mr Zhong=
Once a person committed a crime and sentenced to prison, regardless whether
they were going to be rehabilitated or not is irrelevant. The public would still
have the bad perspective towards them as long as they stepped into prison
before. Thats the way it is...
Speaking of news that 3blups just wrote few hours ago, theres a quite important issue that he forgot to include, ie, the manaces of Mat Rempits (Hereinafter referred as MR ) in Malaysia. For those who doesnt know what MR is, they are a bunch of bikers which normally associated with abuses of drugs, robberies, and other social illment activites. Someone told me that perhaps its became more rampant these days due to recession and stuff like that. I told him, no, its not. MR problems have always been there, regardless whether we are facing recession, or armageddon.
There has been like 2 separate incidents regarding the rampancy of the MR involving snatch thieves and series of robberies that went reported on the newspaper last week. These assholes would not operate alone, they go in groups. One of the lady who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, she was surrounded by 15 of those MR in the morning while she was walking towards LRT station, she was robbed and subsequently got herself injured when one of those MR dragged her from his bike for a few metres. Sigh..
My concern is, what is happening to the country atm? What has it becoming to this country where i, myself cant even enjoy the basic sense of security when walking on the street. As the matter of fact, sometimes i do felt that my life is like a Russian Roulette, not knowing when i might be ended up as one of those victims.
The police force has been repeating on the press that they have been trying to clamp down on all these MR activities. But my question for them would be, is 'trying' enough? No, its not. Something drastic need to be taken. Of course, i was hoping that someone from somewhere will be taking up some vigilante actions like those superheroes in movies. Again, it is just a hope afterall, ya? At least now, we have elicited the fact that these MRs are not intimidated with police force.
Anyway, i wont be talking much about MR today. I am just highlighting whats happening recently and what i am going to talk today is about a concept/theory which has some relation to what i discussed above.
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Okay, lets face it, one of the most effective way to curb crime rates from going up is by way of imposing heavy sentencing. In order to have a bigger picture, first we need to know the mechanism of sentencing. Em.. Lets take the example given above, MR. As far as i am concerned, theres no such offence of being a MR though. But it is their actions of being a MR that can amount to offences,eg: drugs abusing, snatch thieves, robberies, extortion, speeding while doing stunt actions on their bikes... etc.
IF the MR that were involved in the incident that was reported in the newspaper were caught and being charged in the court, for example... under s384 (extortion) of the Penal Code which it is punishable for up to 10 years of imprisonment/fine/whipping.
Under normal circumstances, even if the perpetrators were found guilty of that said offence, chances are, after all the mitigation factors being put forward to the judge, the sentences imposed would not be the max penalty. And if the perpetrators were to plead guilty ( it saves the courts time ) when the charge was first read to them, normally there will be a reduction of 1/3 of the sentence. ( the reduction is not based on the max penalty given, but rather based on the sentence which will be given IF the perpetrators were to be found guilty in the later stages where they claimed trial ).
For example, Ali was found guilty of extortion under s384 of the penal code. The judge made a 1/3 reduction from the initial amount of sentencing that he would impose on Ali due to the fact that Ali pleaded guilty, lets give and take... 6 years of imprisonment. After 1/3 reduction, Ali would have to serve in prison for 4 years. And there would be a further reduction of 1/3 of his 4 years of imprisonment by reason of good behaviour. Well, perhaps in total of years that Ali would be put behind bars would be around 2 years+ and he would be release back to the arms of the public. Sorry for the convoluted explaination given , i did my best to simplify it and i hope you readers can understand it.
To be honest, with all the reductions here and there that can be given, i personally think that the sentencing that being imposed on them (MR) are perhaps too lenient and it does not proportionate to all the troubles and hardship being caused by them. Mind you that a large number of them are considered as 'child offenders' which below the age of 18. And as a child offender, he would not be sent to a normal prison per se, but he will be ended up in a special 'prisoners school' ( Henry Gurney Prisoners School - located in Malacca ) That would basically sums up that if you are a child and committed a crime, the sentence that you going to get is even more lenient than what i have discussed above.
Another example that was given to me by a lecturer of mine, if a child offender (eg, aged 17) committed rape and were found guilty, he would be sent to this prisoners school until the age of 21 and he would be released.
My first reaction was like... wtf??! only 3 years??! (sorry, not that i dont know how to count but one can only sentenced to this approved school for max 3 years only ) How about the victim who is going to be traumatised for her rest of her life by the incident? Seriously... something doesnt sounds right to me though, i guess it is high time for the parliament to actually amend the law to lower down the age further to be considered as a child. The rationale behind this whole idea of giving child offenders a more lenient sentencing is because it is presumed that these 'children' do not have full mental capacity to weigh as to what is right and wrong, what they can do and cannot do. HELLLLLLOOO?! when i was 17 years old, i can think like any ordinary adult does. We might be able to justify it for about 30 or even 20 years ago. But with the changing of the landscape of the society atm, children tends to grow mature even earlier. Then how can we now say that these so-called 'children offenders' do not have the mental capacity to think??
But one would come and argue that there is such a concept called the Rehabilitation Sentencing. The idea is to rehabilitate the offenders to turn them to a new leaf ( lesser sentencing -such as community service ) because just by imposing heavy sentences on them, once they were released, a number of them would be going back to the same way they were and start committing crimes again. It is for them to actually being welcomed back to the society after they served their time in the prison/community service and hopefully would not face any discriminations from the public.
However, I would personally find that this argument is rather flawed. Once a person committed a crime and sentenced to prison, regardless whether they were going to be rehabilitated or not is irrelevant. The public would still have the bad perspective towards them as long as they stepped into prison before. Thats the way it is. Yes, on one hand, it might be unfair to those who actually did change for the better cause, but on the other hand, he would have thought on all the consequences of his act before actually did it ended up in the prison.
However, thats not always been the case though, the offence of Drug Trafficking (s39B Dangerous Drugs Act ) carries death penalty but it is still rampant these days. T_____T
Dont get me wrong, sometimes i do believe the idea of rehabilitation do work at certain situations, i'm just not a fan of it as i would rather prefer Retribution or Deterrence type of sentencing. At least by imposing a heavy sentence to the offenders, it will send the clear signal to the public that crime does not pay! This will also shows that the courts disapproval on behalf of the community pertaining to the particular type of criminal conduct. For me, its simple, the longer we put the offenders behind the bars, the better.
How if we change the law to a very stiff and heavy penalty such as imprisonment up to 20 years as opposed to 7 years max atm or with additional of 10 times whipping even for petty crimes like theft? Or for those who found guilty of incest (something which i CANT tolerate at all), his penis would be chopped off? I think the number of incest cases in this country would drop drasticly to the extent of near non-existent. I guess if all these were being exposed to ALL LAYERS of the public, i would genuinely think that the potential offenders would have think like 10 folds more than he would now before committing a crime.
Of course, there are other factors and policies to be taken into account as well, but the basic arguments for today's post can be summarized as 'Retribution sentencing vs Rehabilitation sentencing'. With all the rampancy of crimes going on, i would hope that the courts will be taking cognisance about it and start imposing as heavy sentence as possible everytime they found any accused guilty of a crime.
p/s:Yes, i know it is another lenghty post of mine, but what to do? = ) sorry if theres any typo mistakes here and there though, its 4am in the morning now and i am darn sleepy atm. Good night~~
= Mr Zhong =
Much had been said / read / told lately in the papers and in the net, a recap of some news which i found interesting...
(1)
Mara Vying to buy space suit for RM 185,000.00
A quote from what Entrepreneur and Co-operative Development Minister Datuk Noh Omar said
“The suit is special. It could only be worn once, after which it would be disposed off, then there will be nothing to remind us of his historic feat,” said Noh.
Errm, as far as i know, a space tourist ain't much of a historical feat, and using our hard earned money to get into space and came back after doing some "experiments" is not some national hero act. Hell, the experiments results were even destroyed in the re-entry...
(2) Financial Crisis and Bailout
Much hype has been put on the RM60Bio stimulus package but strangely the mainstream media never did put much attention on how the government is sourcing the money and the actual effect which it will cause to the economy (as in the effect the deficit will cause on the economy). True enough that our country was not downgraded by the ratings agencies but that is for how long?
RM60Bio is not a small amount and neither too big too. Are we going to issue more government bonds to fund the spending? And when the bond matures, ahh, yes, we could print money to repay the investors of bonds. The issue concern here is the implementation of the whole package. Who will ensure that the fund will be distributed equally / correctly? The fund management lies in the jurisdiction of which party? The last quarter GDP growth was registered at at mere 0.1 percent but traders are already pushing that figure to some negative 2.0-2.5 percent in the next quarter. General market response was that ringgit will continue it northward movement to its year low of 3.7300. How much can the stimulus package help in creating a better market sentiment? I have no idea how it helps others, but definitely it did nothing to my part...
(3) Teaching of Science and Maths in English
As i was browsing our former PM's latest blog entry, his writings on this matter finally do some justice to our country. The man that proposed to implement BM into our education system is now lamenting on the decision itself. Definitely a must read...
An excerpt :
12. Ilmu sains dan matematik bukan ilmu yang statik. Ilmu-ilmu ini berkembang sepanjang masa. Tiap hari ada hasil kaji selidik, penerokaan, ciptaan dan perluasan yang diperkenal melalui ratusan kertas-kertas yang ditulis.
13. Hampir semua ditulis dalam bahasa Inggeris. Untuk menterjemah tulisan ini kita perlu orang yang fasih dalam bahasa Melayu dan bahasa Inggeris dan faham ilmu yang hendak diterjemah.
14. Kita ada beberapa kerat sahaja orang yang berkebolehan seperti ini. Itupun dalam dua tiga bidang sahaja. Orang yang layak seperti ini tidak berminat menjadi penterjemah seumur hidup. Apabila sains dan matematik diajar dalam bahasa Melayu, orang seperti ini tidak akan ada lagi. Bagaimanakah kita hendak ikuti perkembangan ilmu sains?
Previously Mr Zhong did some detail elaboration on this issue, Read it HERE
Too freaking tired, will continue in part 2
As I was crossing some super busy road today, I saw something which I never thought of....
Anyone ever noticed how some people will use their hand to cover their nostrils when a truck / lorry / bus passes by? To reduce the inhale of smoke eh?
I mean, what's the point? By covering with your hands does it reduce the smoke in any way? Isn't it better if they were to hold their breath? Seriously I don't see the justification here... Why cover up when the truth is you yourself know that it makes no difference?
Don't you think it's troublesome to hold your hands and cover your nose? You might even obstruct your view when crossing the road....
Do you think the air will be cleaner that way? Or do you want to appear that you're a class above the others? That you shall breath in better air that way?
Or was it because you want to cover it because someone influenced you? Some passerby do it and asked you to follow suit because it's cool?
For me I admitted the air is not that good and I breath in bravely, I know it'll hurt my lungs in the long term, but I feel that I did the right thing, at least I faced it bravely.... I choose not to run away from the evil smoke....
Worse is in the end, my life will be shorter by 100 days? At least I won't regret it...
some random chat......
®àñâRçHî§T© says:
i know this is very kolot but every 1 min you're angry or sad..
you lose 60 secs away..
.:: wkong ::. says:
then i think i shld be dead already
=(
In movies, they usually say that when a person is facing death itself, then images of life will flash past them without them realizing... Images of people they care the most, words that matters the most, events that matters the most etc...
At this critical time of intervention, the mind will only process things that he/she needs most....
I finally saw it today while i was crossing the road while my mind was occupied... It's truly beautiful... This may sound insane, but if given the option, i would love to experience it again, it's so calming and unbelievable... I saw images that i would love to live with for my whole life... I know what my heart desires....
It's all gone in an instant by an abrupt honk but i would say it's definitely worth it... I'm not delusional and insane but it does really calm my mind at the moment....
Is there a scientific study on this subject?
One year ago, i was still studying in Uni wondering where I'm headed for my future... All of us are pretty unsure of where we should head and which path should we trod, yet we boldly took our path (or at least God chooses it i think)... 1 year is not too short and yet long enough for us to start forgetting what we held to the utmost importance in our heart...
(1) 猪朋狗友
"猪朋狗友" (Pig and Dog Friends) i think i'm fortunate enough to be blessed with some. One year ago, i admitted that i did left them at the road side (or was i dumped at the road side?). I dedicated my life to something which i valued the most and i never regretted it till today. And today i'm really fortunate that they are still beside me, thanks!
Paiseh, couldn't find any "Happy Family" Pics, this is the best i could find...
I know sometimes we do have "bite marks" with each other but that's the best part of life isn't it, at least we have something that we could reminiscent of...
For instance how we use to skip classes, "kap lui", our "blow water" session at mamak etc, or even the timeS we raped socialize with beloved Ang. It sure bring back lotsa fond memories
(2) I'd met some new friends....
For the past 3 years in my uni life, i'd met some friends which i'd grown really close with, thanks for leaving such nice footprints in my heart =)
(3) I got my own car!!
Previously back in school days, all of us (almost all) have to rely on HK to drive us/drop us/pick us up at LRT station or some bus stop. He's the only one who drive a car back in school days, now we can proudly return HK's favour! (or maybe only one can't....)
(4) 3 years effort for one piece of paper...
I was studying in USM for 3 whole freaking years and i'd finally graduated! Yes, i'd learnt to live by my own and life has never been better after my graduation day. The best part of it is when i went for my job interview, instead of asking for my degree transcript, the interviewer asked "can i have your SPM examination result?" They did not even requested my STPM results..... Gosh
(5) Fell in love
I'd fell in love with the girl of my life. She's everything i need and complements well to my weaknesses. Words couldn't possible how much i love her but i'd found a song which matches closes to it... From 童话 (Tong Hua) by Guang Liang
也许你不会懂 (Perhaps you never knew)
从你说爱我以后 (From the moments you said you love me)
我的天空星星都亮了 (All the stars in my sky have brightened up)
(6) I broke my heart
I'd lost her... It's painful.
(7)I think I saved a little Rhino
or maybe a I'd fed a few extra leaves, instead of donating to help some poverty stricken kid, i'd donated to save a rhino... 
The amount is very minimal but i sincerely hope it did something good towards the preservation of rhinos in the long run. Hopefully my kids in the future could still have a chance to view one...
(8) My eyes are brighter
I never knew that the mainstream media managed to hide so many news from us, how the heck did they do it? I am so darn happy that i'd registered to vote for the last election!!! For everyone out there, try to take the blindfold down, peek into the real world, and see how badly informed you are... For starters, try googling these words :
Valuecap Sdn Bhd
Teresa Kok
or better go read Malaysiakini
It's not free but if you're a cheapskate like me, go click the BM/Chinese version, it's free. I'm buying a subscription soon....
(9) I saw a whole cycle of life
I saw a relative of mine past away and at the same time my older cousin had a new member in his family. I myself had a few near death experience while driving and I'd learned the "fragility" of life. One moment you're still here, the next moment I might be floating in mid air wondering what happened.... Treasure the "now" moment. Be blessed by the fact that you're so much better than someone out there...
(10) I'm older....
8th March 2009 and i'm 24 years old, Happy Birthday to myself.
This is the 1st time i sing myself a birthday song and blew my own lighted up candle...
This is the 1st time me and my friends had a really impromptu trip and managed to cash out from the Genting... (thanks for the great experience guys!)
This is the 1st time i feel so lost in my life and so tired...
Anyway, Happy Birthday to myself...
Mind all of you, as much as we can hope for a better results or impact of
the policy implemented, we should give more time to it instead of having
flip-flop decisions from now and then. It is the students that suffers from
flip-flop decisions when comes to education issue, not others. Dont fix what is
not broken and 2 wrongs does not make 1 right.
After I finished my spm, I got a choice to whether to pursue my further studies in Form 6 or A-Level. Well, in the end, after series of discussions with my family members and friends, I decided to take up Form 6 with the intention to enter into Malaysia local Universities.
That was way back in the year of 2003, and that was the year where the government of the day(hereinafter referred as gomen) implemented a policy into our education system to teach math and science in english after long debates for them to actually find out that the importance of the english language in this modern globalisation era. At that point in time, the english standards in the country has dropped to a very serious level which nearing the borderline of untolerable.
My english standards is just mediore, so for me to actually come out with such a statement, it shows how bad it was the situation back then.
When the gomen announced that policy, perhaps I was one of the first person who welcome such a policy though there are a lot of uncertainties lurking somewhere in my mind. One would ask, what are there to be uncertain about? The policy do affects me as well, as my batch would be the first batch (Form 6) that the math and english subjects will be taught in english after all the years that i been learning it in bahasa malayu (Malaysia's formal language). Initially, I was a bit anxious mainly because I was worried that I couldnt cope with the sudden change in language medium for those subjects.
After months of adjusting myself to the new implemented policy, I started get used to it and as the matter of facts, I becoming more comfortable to it to a certain extent.
Today, 7th March 2009, its been 6 years after the policy was implemented, a big hoo-haa took place, where a huge rally demonstration protest took place in the center of Kuala Lumpur. I was walking on the street to college where i saw this huge group of people holding banner and stuff rallying on the street causing massive traffic jams everywhere, with curiousity creeps into me, I decided to walk nearer to find out what was it all about and even took photos with it on my handphone. Initially I thought they are protesting about some HUGE issues, about abolishing ISA (Internal Security Act), or about Constitutional issues, or maybe about human rights...ya da ya da. But i was stunned when I look closely to one of those banners that they are holding....
JESUS CHRIST!! THOSE RETARDS ARE PROTESTING ABOUT TEACHING MATH AND SCIENCE SUBJECTS IN ENGLISH~! WTH, WTF IS GOING ON?!? ( no, my capslock is not stucked, but i rather put it in capital words to emphasize on how ridiculous can that be ) Yes, I was so disappointed with the cause of their demonstration, where there are other major issues that has been going on in this country which I just stated above. For those who can actually smell what am i going to write next, that would be good, for those who dont know, dont worry. Just keep on reading it.
[TL;DR version: PLAIN RANT ABOUT THE PROTEST ON SUCH A PEANUT SIZE ISSUE ]
TL;DR means Too long; Didnt Read
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Its been good 6 years that the gomen implemented the policy to teach math and science subjects in english. Millions of ringgit has been poured into various programmes to ensure that the policy work. Thousands of teachers were being put under english courses to ensure that they are capable teaching those subjects in english. Yes, many argued that the policy did not turn out the way we all want it to be, it still did not meet up the standards that we are hoping for. You (readers) can disagree with whatever i said here and having your own opinion on certain matters are your rights.
BUT what i can tell is that, by implementing it, at least we are heading towards the right direction, ie to improve the english language standards in the young generations for them to compete in such a competitive modern era of globalisation. I am sure a lot do agree with me that we are on the right track atm and all we need is more time to actually see the positive impacts and results of the policy.
To me, I think the gomen did made a wrong move by announcing that they are going to do a review on the effect of the policy after 6 years of implementing it. Whats with the sudden decision to review it now?! What they do not realised is that, by announcing so, they actually opened the pandora's box. To be honest, I dont really know if they actually forsee all these nonsenses coming by doing so, or maybe they purposely does that. This has given opportunity to those opportunists to take advantage of it for personal political gains.
From the crowd that i saw today, it does not only consists of teenagers and adults, but i even saw some kids tagging along. I did asked myself a question, if I were to randomly pick one of those teenagers or even kids from the crowd and ask them what are they protesting about, chances are, they dont even know that they are actually 'protesting' about and I would not blame them, since they are still too young to understand the nature of it. As for adults, I dare to say that, some of them do not know the nature or reason for the protest that they are doing at that time. This is what saddens me the most. They are being used and yet they do not realise it, could not get any more retarder (theres no such word as retarder right? T.T ) than that.
I will go all out condemn all those mofos politicians out there who are using every opportunity they have by using all means necessary in trying to garner supports from the public. If theres anyone with the right to complain about this issue, it will be the students themselves not politicians. Some students might be facing difficulties due to the implementation of such policy but if thats the ground for abolishing it all together doesnt seems proportionate though. Perhaps what we should do is to look into the matter thoroughly and make amendments to it and not abandoning it after all the efforts and resources that being put in.
For those who didnt realise, all the retard demostrations about this issue are being brought up by politicians who are trying to be champion of their own races, malay, chinese, indians, all the same. 'We must preserve our own language bla bla bla..standard lines there'. Seriously, for those who are doing so, please do me a favour, go fck yourself.
Mind all of you, as much as we can hope for a better results or impact of the policy implemented, we should give more time to it instead of having flip-flop decision from now and then. It is the students that suffers from flip-flop decisions when comes to education issue, not others. Dont fix what is it not broken and 2 wrongs does not make 1 right.
Please, Alas, I urge all of Malaysians, do not simply refer anything under the sky or pass any not-so-important memorandums to the YDP Agong. Even if you do, make sure it is about something significant or some paramount important issues not some petty petty issues such as teaching math and science in english. We have more major issues than that to worry about atm, ie to prepare ourselves for the global recession which getting worse each day.
Yes, I am getting a bit emo with the country now. Emo because our country in such a sad state atm and yet nothing much is done to actually improves it. Things which need to be done, is not done, things which are so trivial, are being prioritised. There are various of brilliant ideas and ways are being put forward by Tengku Razaleigh, a highly respectable veteran leader (http://razaleigh.com/) to improve our current state of the country were not even appear on the mainstream media for some reasons ( I will talk about that some other time ). To be honest, sometimes I do felt that this country is moving backwards because of personal agendas of all those who walk in the corridors of powers are being prioritised above the people.
I guess I will stop writing here as I am not an articulate person to start off with. I been getting a little too verbose again today and I know for a fact that some of the readers prefer to read some shorter type of posts but I dont have much choice today as the topic that I wrote above makes me feel like want to rant about it nonstop.
(edited)
=Mr Zhong=
3Blups was walking the other day at Jalan Tun Perak outside Menara Maybank.... and his heart got knockdown by a car... it's shattered into million of pieces
How to be EMO in these few simple steps :
(1) Right Click the piano above
(2) Press Play
(3) Type the following keys...
LONOL LONOL LONO OOMML
LONOL LQPPO LONOM MMOTS
PPRRQQ QQNPOONO ONOR LSRQP
PPRRQQ QQVUTUV VPOT TTSSS
LSRQQRQ QRQ RQPO
OQST TTSPPRQ OQST
TTSPPRQRQPO PQMMOONO
WELCOME TO THE CLUB MATEY~
Not satisfied or want to redeem a ticket out from the club?
Try this :
QQQQPONPPPO LQPOOOLQPOOP
QQQQPONPPPO LQPOOOLQPOOPPQR
RRRRQPOOOPP LSSSRQPPPQQ
MRQRQPOONOL QRQRQPOPS
LQRSRQSLQRSRQS LQRSRQOPPPQO
SSOONOOSSOONOO RRQQPPORRQQPPO
LQRSRQSLQRSRQS LQRSRQOPPPQO
SSOONOOSSOONOO RRQQPPOORQPOMOO
Grats, you just won yourself life time membership in "EMO CLUB"
Last way out:
OPQQQRQPPOPPSP ONOOOQQOOMNNQN
MLMMMRRQSO MLMMMRROOMP
OOPQQQRQPPOPPSP ONOOOQQOOMNNQN
MLMMRRQSO MLMMMRROOONO
P.S. Thanks Mr Zhong for the Emoiano =)
I can bet with you that (porn) it’s something that you will find on most men’s handphones
WALAO EH, my handphone is clean and i'm sure that most men i knew don't store that in our mobile phone.... WTF....
Another outright no brain blurt... and worse, it's by Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC), Datuk Seri Ahmad Said Hamdan. I wonder how he got elected for that post, gosh, can't he speak some intelligence?
He quoted people are linking his son's action of bringing child pornography to Australia and subsequently was detained to him. Hello, with that one sentence, now I know how his son sourced it....
Read more at :
The Star Online
That’s life, or some said, love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to forget that true love lies in between the peace and dullness.
Adapted from another site....
My husband is a scientist by profession. I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when i lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years in the courtship and now, two years into marriage, I have to admit, I am getting tired of it. The reasons for loving him has now transformed into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and is extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationships and feelings. I yearn for romantic moments, like a little boy yearning for candy.
My husband, is a stark contrast to me. His lack of sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I want a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked.
“I am tired, there aren’t reasons for everything in the world” I answered.
He kept silent for a long time, seeming to be in deep thoughts with a cigarette lighted the entire night. My feelings of disappointment is getting intense, a man who can’t even express his detainment, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked, “What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess I have started losing faith in him. I looked deep into his eyes and I slowly answered : “Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind.
Let’s say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we are both sure that picking the flower will cause death, will you still do it for me?”
He said, “I will give you your answer tomorrow….”; My heart just sank after hearing his reply.
The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his
scratchy writing, underneath a glass of warm milk.
It goes…
“Dear, I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to
further explain the reasons.”
This first line has already broken my heart. I continued reading.
“You can only type with the computer and yet you always mess up the programs in the
PC and cry in front of screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind, I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.
You love traveling yet you always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to lead you around.
You always have cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramp at your tummy.
You like to stay indoor, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism.
I have to save my mouth to tells you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the computer for long hours, and that’s no good for your eyes.
I have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your
nails, and help to remove those annoying white hair.
I will hold your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… tell you the colour of flowers, which is just like the glow on your young face…
Thus, my dear, before I am sure there is someone who loves you more than I
do… I would not pick the flower, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his hand writing while I resumed my reading…
“And now, dear… you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied
with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing
there,with your favorite bread and fresh milk…”
I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand held tight on the milk and bread…. Oh I am sure no one ever loved me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, or some said, love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to forget that true love lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows in any form, even a very little and corny form, it has never been a model, it could be the most incurious form.. . flowers, romantic moments is only the buckish formed on the surface of the relationship.
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